Lately, I’ve been struggling with self-confidence. Here I am in my late 20’s working on “finding myself” only to discover I don’t have as much self-confidence as I thought I did!
For example, I’m blogging because I love it, but I’m absolutely terrified of putting myself (and my blog) “out there”. Now, this isn’t something I’d readily admit. However, I’m writing this because I know I can’t be the only one who is struggling with self confidence.
Besides, the first step to improving yourself is identifying what needs to be improved, right?!
For this blog, I did a lot of research. I want this post to be littered with resources and motivation to help jump start your 30-day self-confidence challenge. I also wanted to make it as helpful and resourceful as possible. Throughout my research, there are two consistent messages to help overcome struggling with self confidence.
In this blog post, you will learn about two ways to improve self confidence and get the details of a 30-day self confidence challenge!
This blog post is all about how to overcome struggling with self confidence.
1. Avoid Imposter Syndrome
One of the first best ways to overcome struggling with self confidence is to avoid imposter syndrome
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.
Who knew there was a whole term to describe a struggle with self-confidence and a feeling of failure?!
Personally, I define imposter syndrome as the feeling of being fraudulent or inadequate as it relates to your goals and success. It’s the lack of confidence in your achievements no matter how big or small.
To define Imposter Syndrome in another way, as it relates to struggling with self confidence, here is a great Ted Ed explaining Imposter Syndrome.
According to Time Magazine, people who offer suffer from imposter syndrome are
- Perfectionists
- Experts
- Natural Geniuses
- Soloists
- “Super(wo)men”
Reflection: Do you fit in one of these categories? Have you ever felt imposter syndrome?
To be honest, it wasn’t until Michelle Obama admitted that she still struggles with imposter syndrome that I even knew what Imposter Syndrome meant!
When talking about releasing her book Becoming, Michelle Obama admits
“I still remember waking up in a bit of a panic the night before my first tour event in the United Center in Chicago, this huge basketball arena,” she recounted. “Were people really going to come? Was it going to be any good? Here I’d been first lady of the United States for eight years, giving speeches in front of huge crowds, but this felt so different. I recognize now that the memoir and the tour were really different than what I’d done before — I wasn’t promoting a policy or rallying votes; I was out there, alone, talking about my feelings and vulnerabilities. That’s enough for anybody to lose a little sleep.”
So, what does this mean?
Well for starters, if the First Lady of the United States still gets imposter syndrome, I think we can all cut ourselves a break!
What’s important to take away from that message is that putting yourself out there is hard! So many of us struggle with feeling inadequate or not good enough, but it is important to remain true to yourself and do it anyway.
DO IT EVEN IF YOU’RE SCARED. Taking action is how you gain confidence!
2. Do It Anyway
The second best way to overcome struggling with self confidence is to “do it anyway”.
What do I mean by “do it anyway”?
Often times when we think about self-confidence we think “I wish I had the confidence to do that” or “when I get confident enough I’ll do that” or “Wow! She’s so confident, I could never do what she does.”
The truth is. YOU CAN.
When I started this blog I didn’t want to share it with anyone. NO ONE. I didn’t even want to read my posts to my husband. Part of this is because my posts were a fun outlet to help me cope and heal during my postpartum, but a large part was because I wasn’t confident in my writing or the blogging process.
The reality is, the only way I was going to get better and learn about the process is if I just put myself out there.
Even though I still get nervous, it is imperative to “do it anyway”.
Do the thing that scares you, that you’re afraid of, and the thing that sets your soul on fire.
Why is it important to overcome struggles with self-confidence?
Confidence is sexy.
On the days I feel confident, I present my best self. I am a better wife, mother, employee, and friend.
When I am mentally, physically, and spiritually grounded I release an orra, an extra umph…I have a little pep in my step. I have more energy and I feel radiant.
That kind of self-worth and radiating love for yourself is not only noticeable, but it’s also attractive.
Science proves self-confidence is good for you.
Psychological studies tell us self-esteem is good for you. Possessing an adequate amount of self-esteem prevents depression, helps achieve maximum potential, and leads to healthy relationships with others.
In addition, self-esteem is necessary for your personal and professional growth. Improving your self-esteem takes diligence and practice.
It comes much more easily for some than for others, but that doesn’t mean anyone is more deserving or better at something than you.
Our children are watching
As a Black girl, I grew up always searching for people who looked like me I could relate to.
For me, my celebrity heroes were Maya Angelou, Beyonce, Michelle Obama, and famous black women from 90’s TV shows like The Cosby Show and Fresh Prince of Bellair.
In my own reality, my hero was my mom. Any time I struggled with self-confidence my mom was there to provide guidance and coach me on the importance of believing in myself.
Now that I’m a mom, I’m always conscious about how the decisions I make will influence my son and his future. Our kids are always watching us.
If we want our kids to feel like they can do anything, they need to see how important it is to push through any self-doubt telling us “we can’t or “we’re not good enough”.
The Self Confidence Challenge!
This post marks my commitment to increasing confidence in myself and having faith in what God has in store for me.
I ask you, my tribe, to join me in this challenge of self-confidence and self-worth.
Remember, everyone struggles with self-confidence at some point. Literally everyone! This challenge is meant to be fun and serves as a reminder that confidence is beautiful.
Take the 30-day self confidence challenge!
Write out as many of these as possible to increase accountability! I suggest using the notes section on your phone, using a journal or planner, or using social media. Be sure to tag me each day to share the challenge on Instagram!
Are you in? Take the challenge! Join me in the 30 day self confidence challenge.
Day One: Write out three things you love about yourself
Day Two: Write out three goals you have for your future
Day Three: Take a selfie
Day Four: Get dressed up to go nowhere
Day Five: Complete this sentence: I feel happy when…
Day Six: Do one thing that makes you scared
Day Seven: Treat yourself to your favorite meal
Day Eight: Ask three close friends or family members what their favorite thing about you is.
Day Nine: Write out one quality about yourself that makes you unique
Day Ten: Write out one thing you’ve done for your family
Day Eleven: Write out one thing you’ve done to help someone else
Day Twelve: Identify a change you want to make in your life and the specific steps to implement that change
Day Thirteen: Music has a direct effect on self-esteem. Create a “feel good” playlist
Day Fourteen: Create a schedule for the weekend and follow it!
Day Fifteen: Write out three fears and how you can overcome each of them
Day Sixteen: List your favorite part of your body
Day Seventeen: Go on a walk outdoors without your phone
Day Eighteen: Do something that makes you feel special
Day Nineteen: What is one activity that excites you? Do it.
Day Twenty: Pray or meditate for 15 minutes first thing in the morning.
Day Twenty One: Look in the mirror and say a self-affirmation
Day Twenty-Two: Buy yourself something new (it can be a small, inexpensive item)
Day Twenty Three: Do one minute of deep breathing exercises first thing in the morning and right before bed
Day Twenty Four: Eat mindfully all-day
Day Twenty-Five: Write down three mistakes you’ve made and what you learned from them
Day Twenty-Six: Workout (it can be an at-home workout or even a short jog)
Day Twenty Seven: Create a personal mantra
Day Twenty-Eight: Text a friend and let them know why they matter to you
Day Twenty Nine: Write a love letter to yourself. In your letter, remind yourself why you are beautiful, unique, and worthy of being your absolute best
Day Thirty: Create a time capsule. Here’s what you should put inside of it:
- Name
- Date
- Selfie
- Family Picture
- List a goal you’d like to achieve
- List your favorite thing about your body
- List (or take a picture) your favorite outfit
- List your favorite thing to do
- Include the letter to yourself (written on day twenty-nine)
- Open the time capsule one year from this date and reflect
I hope you enjoyed this post all about struggling with self confidence and you choose to take the self confidence challenge!
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